Sexual Addiction Behaviors

What are the different types of behaviors sexual addicts will participate in? 

Building-block behaviors

• Fantasy
  The mind  is where all the behaviors start.  The fantasy may be about a sexual act or it may be about a person.  Another term that could be used is "daydream."  The desires and thoughts about the behavior start in the mind before an addict engages in any other act of the addiction. 

• Pornography
  What is pornography?  This can be a hard question to answer, because what is pornographic to one person may not be pornographic to another.  However, I think we can safely say that something is pornographic if it elicits an improper sexual response.  Is a picture of a baby getting a bath pornographic?  Not to the baby's parents, but it might be pornographic to a pedophile.
  Pornography is not strictly limited to pictures.  Pornography also exists in audio form (sound bites or recordings) and text (stories, etc.). 

• Masturbation
  Perhaps this is my own bias, but it seems to me that all sexually addictive behavior has orgasm as its end.  Masturbation is one of the final building-block behaviors for sexual addiction.  It provides the physical release as well as the chemical release in the brain.  One dangerous and very deadly behavior related to masturbation is autoerotic asphyxiation in which a person strangles himself/herself at the point of orgasm to achieve a greater "high."  This behavior often results in death.

Addictive behaviors

• Prostitution
  "The oldest profession in the world."  This behavior includes any transaction in which sex is exchanged for money.  Street walkers, Call Girls, Chickenhawks, Escorts, and Lap Dancers are common examples.  The fact that this "business" has been legalized in some states and countries does not change its destructive nature. 

• Anonymous sex
  Sex with someone you just met.  This may occur in adult bookstores, parks, or public restrooms.  One form of this is the One Night Stand.  For example, the addict will go to a bar and pick up someone and have sex with them that night.  Such behavior is not about having a relationship, it is about getting the sexual fix to numb out for one more night.

• Group sex
  When sex with one person is too intimate, an addict may engage in group sex.  There is no fear of intimacy here, because it's nearly impossible to be intimate with 2 or more people at the same time as you're being sexual with them.  One form of this could be Swapping or Swinging (swapping spouses or sexual partners with others).

• Affairs
  Also called adultery, of all the behaviors in this "Addictive behaviors" group this one  is the most destructive to a marriage/long term relationship.  Sometimes this behavior is about another sexual conquest; probably equally often it is about making intimate connection with another person.  Fear of loss may keep an addict from seeking intimacy with his/her spouse, and often it is easier to find a form of intimacy with another person.

• Crossdressing
  Another term could be "transvestism."   The addict (typically male) will become obsessed with the clothing worn by the opposite sex and will begin wearing those articles of clothing.  Initially he may wear his mother's, his wife's or his girlfriend's clothing.  It can progress to the point where he stealing from the laundromat or breaking into houses in order to get more articles to wear. 

• Chat Sex/Cybersex
  The existence of several worldwide chat networks has brought about the concept of Chat Sex or Cybersex.  Almost completely anonymous, people can pretend to be anyone or anything.  Race, gender, age, physique, and species are all unconfirmable.  Under-age children can pretend to be adults, and law enforcement personnel can pretend to be the addict's favorite type of partner.

• Phone Sex
  One form of phone sex is the "900" number form: you dial up a business and they bill you through your phone company for the "service" of being able to talk through a sexual fantasy. Others will bill your credit card.  Another form is in linking up on a chat network and calling up the other interested party.  One of the dangers with this behavior is that the person at the other end may call at an inopportune time.

• Sadism/Masochism
  There is an entire subculture around "BDSM," or Bondage/Domination/Sadism/Masochism.  The stereotype is one of a dominant woman and a submissive man, but in truth this behavior knows no boundaries.  The dominant person ("dom") enjoys the rush of power and control over the submissive ("sub"), and the submissive person gets a high from being humiliated (among other things).  

• Sex with Objects
  Perhaps a form of masturbation, but for both women and men, having sex with objects can be an addictive behavior.  Sex toys (from dildos to blow-up dolls) are available both online and in your local "adult" store, and these objects are used to enhance the sexual experience.  For some, the vegetable aisle at the local grocery store is also a source of "toys." 

Offending behaviors

• Voyeurism
  A man who engages in this behavior might be called a "Peeping Tom."  This behavior is often seen simply as some guy hanging out in a tree trying to get a look into someone's window while they undress.  Of course, this behavior isn't limited to climbing trees and looking into windows.  This behavior can also include looking through a keyhole, listening at the door/wall (eavesdropping), or working one's way into someone's bedroom through seemingly innocent conversation.  Generally, this covers different means of violating a person's privacy for sexual gratification.

• Exhibitionism
  The stereotype here is a little old man wearing a trench coat and exposing himself to ladies on the street, but exhibitionism is not limited to that.  It can also consist of cruising in a car with the genitals exposed or riding a bike with the genitals hanging out.  This behavior is more frowned upon in  men than in  women: a man exposing his genitals to a woman is looked down upon, while a woman exposing her chest or genitals to man is applauded.  Children are often targets for exhibitionists, since children usually don't know what to do.

• Indecent Liberties
  An accidental brush against a lady's breast on the subway.  An "innocent" touch during a meeting at work.  Reaching out and fondling a relative.  All of these are examples of indecent liberties: physically touching another person in a sexual way without their knowledge or consent.

• Pedophilia
  The word actually means "love of children," but the kind of love portrayed here is quite inappropriate.  This behavior includes the exchange of sexually explicit materials (photographs, etc.) in which children are involved as well as sexually molesting a child.

• Bestiality
  Also know as Zoophilia, this behavior includes having sex with animals and exchanging materials in which animals are being sexually abused by humans. Animals abused in this way usually have to be destroyed.

• Incest
  The sexual violation of a person by a family member or a trusted person.  There is often a "power differential" (difference in power), possibly in the area of age or of authority or of strength.

• Molestation
  This is a general term for the sexual abuse of another person.  Rather than trying to cover all the possible areas, this is a general "catch-all" category.  Can be husband-wife, adult-child, friend-friend, or strangers.

• Rape
  This behavior is not limited to females being sexually violated under coercion by men.  This behavior can include authority rape (use of a position of power or authority to gain sexual favors), anal rape, date rape and husband- or wife-rape.  The common factor here is that this is not about sex, it's about violence and power.