THE 12 STEPS Private emails to me have asked what the Twelve Steps are and how to get started. I have sent answers, and it occurs to me that some who read may also be asking the same questions, but don't post the question. To whom it may concern: I am not a guru or a well person. I am a sex addict who has been working on the problem for eight years and is a satisfied customer, in that it has worked for me. I think it will for you. It has worked to a degree. I work it imperfectly. One of the hardest things for me to do is to accept my imperfection, and to have patience because I am not instantly healed. Basically all I have to offer is that I have found that working the 12 steps and attending meetings has given me a lot of relief from a lifelong problem. Your problem sounds like mine, so I recommend you try it. I am going to presume to introduce you to the steps. One of you asked me for it, the other two have not. They are found in the book with the title ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, which is called the AA "Big Book" by all twelve steppers. Every group has adapted these steps to their own language. I am going to let you substitute the word "sex" for "alcohol" for now. My own opinion is that this book will be as important to you as any book written for any of the groups specifically, because this is the source. The others are commentaries and adaptations. The others are good and much needed, but they shouldn't shove this one out of focus. Here is a copy of the Twelve Steps: Here are the steps we took, which are suggested as a program of recovery: 1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol, that our lives had become unmanageable. 2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. 3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him. 4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. 5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. 6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character. 7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings. 8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all. 9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. 10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it. 11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out. 12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs. If you do not have, or until you get, a big book, you can read any part of it on the net for free. When you are ready, and not until you are ready, you may wish to read this book. I recommend you start your reading with Chapter five, then start with one and go through the book, including all of the attachments. This should get you to a webpage where the whole big book is available: http://www.casti.com/aa/bigbook/ww/ Click the numbers to get to the chapter beginnings. If you just need to write, if you have questions, if you want web resources, if you want a list of things that describe an addict, if you want help finding meeting, email me and tell me what you need. If you don't need anything from me, let me thank you for the help you have given me by your contact. I will be watching for you on the net. Have a good day.