RECOVERY STORIES

RESOURCES

Stories of recovery by the members of Coanon!

Here's a great page of resources collected by Coanon!

CORE BELIEFS

Addicts and Co-Addicts share four core beliefs:

1. I am basically a bad, unworthy person.

2. No one would love me as I am.
   or
   If you really knew me you wouldn't love me.

3. My needs are never going to be met if I have to depend on other people.

4. Sex is the most important sign of love.
   or
   Sex is my most important need.

COUNSELING INFORMATION

Here is the list of questions I used when I was interviewing for a counselor. If you have additional questions you use, please send them to me and I'll add them here.

1. Have you dealt with sexual addiction in your practice?

2. Are you primarily directive or non-directive?

3. Are you Family Systems oriented?

4. What books have you read on sexual addiction (titles, authors)?

5. What training have you had on dealing with sexual addiction?

6. Is your style Cognitive, Behavioral, Psychoanalytical, or something else?

7. What do you charge?

8. What are your credentials?

9. How long have you been in practice?

Looking for a counselor?  Try one of these

• The National Counsel on Sexual Addiction and Compulsivity maintains a list of therapists around the country (770-989-9754).

• The Outreach Division of the American Family Association has a list of Christian counselors that might be helpful. (601-844-5128).

• Therapist Directory
  An online professional referral service, but so far only covers North America.   Select a therapist by state or use their Therapist Finder to help find someone who can help.

• The Therapy Network
  From their main page: "The Therapy Network was created to bring therapists and clients together. Finding a therapist when you need one can be a difficult task...if you don't know someone who can recommend a therapist to you, it's often hard to know where to start looking."  The page also includes pointers to other sites such as "How to Choose a Therapist."

ARTICLES

• Are you Codependent?

• Adultery and Sexual Addiction: A Plan for Healing the Soul and the Marriage
  A site promoting healing for marriages affected by sexual sin and adultery.  I've not read the whole thing, but it appears to be an excellent piece of work from my initial perusal!

• Is My Husband a Sex Addict?

• Lay Symptoms of Co-Addiction

• Leadership Keys for Dealing With Addictions

• Sermons on the Subject of: Recovery

• The New Biology of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

AUDIO TAPES

• Encore Cassettes

BOOKS

• An Affair of the Mind

• Back from Betrayal : Recovering from His Affairs

• Beyond Love; A Twelve Step Recovery Workbook

• Codependents' Guide To The Twelve Steps: How To Find The Right Program For You & Apply...

• Gentle Path Press (Dr. Carnes' recovery books)

• Partner's Recovery Guide: 100 Empowering Exercises

• Relationship Web Links & Book Resources

• Sex, Lies, and Forgiveness; Couples Speaking Out on Healing

• Women Who Love Sex Addicts (Heart to Heart)

I don't have these links hooked up, but you can find these in my bookstore for couples

CHAT/ONLINE MEETINGS

• CoDA-U Undernet Information and Help Page

• Codependency Chat Channels Homepage

• Family Members/Friends Affected by Sexual Addiction
  This is a private group for Delphi members and requires a password to join. It is designed for people mentioned by the title and also co-addicts. It is not affiliated with any other organization but its focus is on the 12 Step program of recovery (as adapted from AA, 1935) and its principles are based on al-anon/s-anon/co-anon/co-addiction principles. This group has on-line meetings every Monday, Wednesday and Friday.  It also has six various posting boards:
  1) Discussion & Feedback
  2) Monday and Friday online meeting info (read-only)
  3) Detachment (read-only)
  4) 12 SxA Steps to Recovery (read only)
  5) Tools For Recovery
  5) Recovery Questions
  
  The various boards are for members to ask questions (ex: newcomers) or to share their experience, strength and HOPE, in which ever areas they feel is appropriate.
  You can check out the web page at http://www.ciaracat.net/hope.htm for more information

• IRC (Internet Relay Chat) Programs and Help Page

SUPPORT GROUPS

• Moved to the Support Groups page

MAILING LISTS

• AL-ANON & ALATEEN LISTSERV

• Codeps
  Codeps is an e-mail discussion list for people in/recovering from relationships with sexual/love addicts. Not affiliated with any 12-step group.

• New Life Partners

• Co/Anon Email List Group: (Now on SARR!) E-mail Forum for Friends and Family Members of People Addicted to Sex
  
  Partners, family members and friends of people addicted to sex and/or love can join this e-mail discussion list where we share our experience, strength and hope with one another. We can talk about our own co-dependency and co-addiction, and gain support in dealing with someone else's compulsive/obsessive sexual behavior. This list is closed for the group's safety. We use an application form to screen new members, and we provide guidelines for sharing.
  
  This forum is open to people who are in COSA, S-Anon, CoSLAA, etc., or those who think a twelve-step program could help them in dealing with the sexually addictive behavior of a loved one.
  
  To receive a group description and application, please send a blank email to coanon-subscribe@sarr.org. If you have difficulty, contact list admin directly at coanon-owner@sarr.org and request that an application be sent you you. Please be aware that all emails and applications are responded to within 24 hours. If you encounter any delay, please contact the list administrator directly at coanon-owner@sarr.org. Also, keep in mind that should any delay occur, this is usually an indication of a temporary email server delay, or due to thunderstorms or other weather that prevents list admin from accessing their mail. Please rest assured that we will respond as quickly as possible, usually within 6-12 hours, and that these delays are seldom and infrequent.
  
  IMPORTANT - Especially for AOL or any who have 'mail blocks': Please unblock your mail until you receive the requested information. Requests for application/information are usually responded to within 24 hours. We utilize a secure, automated forwarding system for all group mail. Information will be sent to you from our group administrator, NOT from the same address from which you requested information. If you have a block on your email addresses, we will be unable to respond to your request. Until you receive the information (including the group email address) please unblock your email.  Otherwise you will not receive the information you have requested and we will have no way to contact you.